48 Short Funny Quotes and Sayings

Short Funny Quotes

Reading funny and hilarious quotes and messages I guess is the best way to bring cheerful smile on our face. So why not try my underlying compilation of short funny quotes?

48 Short Funny Quotes and Sayings

Looking for best funny quotes and sayings? Here in this article I have compiled a collection of unique and well versed funny quotes. I am sure you will not be able to control your laughter reading such funny quotes. Join the fun by reading these quotes and don’t forget to share them with your near and dear ones whom you want to make laugh.

1. People are making friends, being in a love affair, dieting and all, and here I am still getting fat..
2. Each day I get up in the morning, my pillow gives me a new hair style. Lol..
3. Wait for 5 minutes and I will be back in 10 minutes.
4. I am jealous of my parents. Because I will never get an amazing child as my parents have.
5. It's human nature to talk at your back, just chill and fart! LMAO..
6. Dear healthy food, you are tasteless and I can’t have you anymore. Say thanks to me, atleast I am not cheating on you.
7. If you can’t be anything else, you can become a successful engineer.

   Lol..

8. Life is short so keep on smiling until you have teeth in your mouth..
9. People laugh at me because I am different and I laugh at them because they all are the same.
10. There are some people who should get high-five on their face. Lol..
11. Don’t think I am immature. My level of maturity depends on person I am with.
12. I can’t please everybody. After all I am not a jar of Nutella.
13. I don’t worry about my weight. And I love being fat because if I will get thin it wouldn’t be fair to all the fat people out there. Hahaha!
14. I texted him, but he didn’t replied back. He might have fainted by excitement. Lol..
15. Watching the food coming out in the restaurant is the best feeling ever.
16. There are many f**king people in need of high-fives, but on their faces......
17. You will definitely get something from me.. and it’s a big kick on your a**.....
18. Don’t call me ugly as it starts with U.
19. Start having makeup in your food too. May be you become f**king hot from inside too..
20. Never roam around the same girl twice, until she’s hot.
21. The word exercise is so irritating that each time I speak it I have to clean my mouth with Nutella. Thanks to you Nutella.
22. Sometimes I am in the mood of cleaning the house. But then I lie down until this feeling passes.
23. I thought about losing weight. But then I realized we should not lose anything in life. And I started gaining.
24. You are here on this earth and you can fart anywhere and at anytime.
25. Hope your day was as good as your butt! Rofl!!
26. Life is full of bitches. Learn how to fuck them.
27. There is nothing more relaxing than farting on your bed.
28. I am that much lazy that if I get a prize for the most laziest person, I would send somebody on my behalf to carry it.
29. Do you think you are cooler than me? Okay! That makes me much hotter than you.
30. One way to get close to my heart is buy me good food.
31. Only that marriage succeeds where there is a blind wife and deaf husband.
32. I am your jerry and you are my tom. No matter how much we fight with each other, but in the end we can’t live without each other.
33. Give me a photo of yours. So that I can send it in circus for the role of a joker.
34. Today I saw a sexy girl in the market then I realized it was mirror. Lol..
35. You look so much like an elephant. Shall I name you JUMBO.Hahahah!!
36. We were happy as boyfriend-girlfriend and then we got married.
37. Everything having topping of cheese is just awesome.
38. Marriage is the biggest mistake of life for which people are congratulated..
39. Marriage is just like an alarm clock. So irritating!
40. People say you should quit smoking, then I realize that I am not a quitter.
41. You are a fool if you haven’t tasted alcohol in your life.
42. Life is worthless if you don’t know the feeling of hangover.
43. If you get angry at your boyfriend, don’t break his heart. He has only 1. Break his bones as there are 206 total in number.
44. I was all fine. But by asking the same question for the 8th time you have made me mad.
45. In order to be happy with me, shut your mouth and give me your cheque book.
46. Yeah I am foodie! What’s your problem?

Above is my article on short funny quotes and sayings that will definitely brighten up your day. I have put together 48 funny quotes just to make your life bit easier.